I Miss Myself Even Though I Love My Children: The Unspoken Reality of Contemporary Motherhood

We all hear about a certain kind of parenthood growing up.

The bright mother. The place was immaculately ordered. the delight of bedtime cuddles, school runs, and snack times. Yes, there is some truth to that.

Here's another fact, though, that does not receive many hashtags or likes:

I miss my former self before I became "Mom."

And if you are reading this and silently nodding... You are not by yourself.

Motherhood: A Stunning, Harmful Metamorphosis

Nobody warns you that becoming a mother causes you to lose aspects of yourself in addition to your child.

Your spontaneity. Your professional progress. Your slumber. Your interests. It even becomes a luxury to simply contemplate without interruption.

It is a combination of intense love and grief. Even if you are incredibly in love with your children, you may still harbor a strong longing for the self you were before they were born.

You are not a bad mother because of that. You become a human because of that.

Why This Is How Many Mothers Feel in 2025

We must acknowledge that motherhood in 2025 is different from what it was for our mothers and grandmothers.

We are raising a child in a time when:

Continuous comparison of digital (Hello, mom guilt on Instagram)

Little village assistance (the majority of us lack family support nearby)

Disguised as "supermom" goals, burnout culture

We are instructed to work hard, maintain our fitness, prepare organic meals, maintain the spark, and manage to grin with thankfulness every single minute. That strain? It is oppressive.

So… When you miss yourself, what do you do?

Name it first. Declare aloud: I miss myself, but I love my children.

It is not self-centered. It is not embarrassing. It is the truth.

Then, just one tiny step will bring you home to yourself:

In the morning, spend ten minutes in silence.

For yourself, make a list of the things you miss doing.

Take a stroll without a stroller and without any plans.

Take up an old pastime.

Refuse something without giving a reason.

"Getting your old life back" is not the aim. It is okay that the individual is no longer there. The objective is to create a new version of yourself that incorporates motherhood without being completely consumed by it.

Being a mother is not all about you, and that is okay.

The most liberating reality is this:

Before they called you Mama, you were and still are a complete person.

Needs, dreams, bad days, and boundaries are all acceptable.

Despite your intense love for your children, you may still long for their separation. It is possible to experience both thankfulness and fatigue simultaneously. Motherhood like that is genuine.

Not the edited, picture-perfect version on Pinterest.

The sort you are living right now the messy, wonderful, soul-stretching kind.

Conclusion: Motherhood is a transformation, not a role. It changes your heart, 

your body, your schedule, and yes, your identity. However, it does not have to erase you; you are still there, beneath the laundry piles and snack wrappers. So, here's your permission slip: Begin returning to yourself, guilt-free, quietly or boldly, one step at a time, because your children deserve a mom who feels whole, and so do you.