Five Revolutionary Lessons That Made Having a Baby Easier the Second Time

However, when my second child was born? It all felt... softer. Lighter. I had gained some knowledge. It is not just about parenting; it is also about letting go of the need for perfection, the pressure to succeed, and the desire to win at motherhood like it is a sport.

These five lessons make the second time around of having a newborn much simpler, regardless of whether you are getting ready for your second child or you are a first-time parent seeking some advice ahead of the curve. I hope they allow you to breathe a little easier.

1.I Quit Obsessing Over Baby Sleep

I plunged myself into the rabbit hole of newborn sleep culture with my first child. The discussion boards. The Instagram profiles. The inciting of fear. Hundreds of "rules" exist, all of which are imperative: swaddle this manner, lay flat, only lie on your back, and avoid being too hot or too cold. Do not let them become overtired, no matter what you do! (Cue the panic.)

We tried everything: sleep sacks, swaddles, cribs, even babysitters but what was the outcome? A wretched six months of waking up almost every night. We finally caved in and began co-sleeping, half-feral and tired.

We did not wait for desperation with our second child. We followed our instincts rather than the internet, started co-sleeping on the first day, and substituted a Dock-A-Tot for a heavy cot. And you know what? She slept. I dozed off. All of us were considerably happier.

I have no business telling you how to manage your sleep; it is very personal. However, I can assure you that, without the consent of the internet, babies have been sleeping and not sleeping for thousands of years. Do what is effective. Period.

2. The Baby Bathtub Circus was abandoned by me.

Bath time felt like an Olympic competition when I had my firstborn. Worried about dry drowning and water-in-the-ear plots, I would be hunched over the tub with one hand on a wriggling, slippery infant and the other groping for washcloths.

This time? My baby and I got into the bathtub.

My husband gives her to me, and I wash her in warm water as we unwind together. If she cries, she nurses, and he takes her to dry her and change into pajamas. And I quietly wash my hair while I am in the tub. One stone, two birds. And no tension.

She had indeed urinated on me. A couple of times. Even so, it is still far superior to the back-painting acrobatics of infant tubs.

3. I Forsook the "Freezer Stash" Dream

Building a breastmilk freezer store became my obsession after having my first. After feeding, I pumped. When I was napping, I pumped. I should have been sleeping, but I pumped at two in the morning. Even yet, the milk would run out—because, hey, my baby needed it.

Pump, store, feed baby from stored milk, repeat—it was a stressful cycle. And all for a priceless stash that I eventually threw away a year later.

The second time? I let myself trust my body, did not push the pump, and nursed when I felt like it. I accepted that my value as a mother was not quantified in frozen ounces.

4. I Stepped Outside Every Day I was afraid to leave the house after my first.

What if he broke down in tears? What if I overlooked something important? What if my clothing leaks?

I strapped her in the wrap, prepared a diaper bag, and left this time. Anything to get some fresh air and remind myself that I was more than simply a milk machine, like taking walks, going for coffee runs, or just relaxing beneath a tree.

It turns out that your baby's fussing at the farmer's market does not mean the end of the world. Additionally, even a little 15-minute walk outdoors prevented the walls from closing in.

5. I Quit Becoming a Martyr

Being a mother is honorable, but martyrdom is not necessary. I wore my fatigue like a badge of honor after my first. I seldom ever requested assistance. I thought that if I was struggling, I was doing it "correctly."

I gave my hubby the initiative. I agreed to assist. I refused to feel guilty. Perhaps most importantly, I let myself appreciate it.

Yes, it is difficult to be a newborn. However, they are also transient. Additionally, I did not want to spend them anxiously snapping and searching for baby poop colors on Google at three in the morning.

Conclusion: It Does not Need to Be This Tough

Being a mother alters you in profound and permanent ways. You do not have to be crushed by it, though. It is normal to feel overwhelmed if you are a new mother. Additionally, if you are expecting your second child, have faith that you know more than you may realize. You get to decide which fights are worthwhile this time.

I wish someone had informed me that you only need to be there; you do not have to be flawless. and took a nap. And sometimes take a shower.

Mama, you have got this.