In a relationship, there are determining factors to find a good balance.
We could say that the fundamental pillars of a good relationship, whether as a couple, friendship, or family, are: trust, respect, good communication, empathy, and cooperation.
Added to this in a relationship is physical attraction and enjoying healthy and fun sexuality.
Although the factors that favor a good relationship may seem obvious, it does not hurt to remember them and reflect on them from time to time to evaluate what things we can improve.
1. Respect above all
We all get angry from time to time, and it is normal for a couple to have conflicts, arguments, or conflicting opinions. It's not about never getting angry, or about not saying what bothers us: it's about always speaking with respect toward the other person.
Insults, threats, screams, or devaluations should not be tolerated in any case, as they are a form of violence that hurts deeply. It is important to know how to manage our emotions so that anger does not dominate us. It is preferable to take some time before responding or postpone the discussion to another time if we are very nervous, rather than losing our temper. On the other side, we should never tolerate offenses against us: it is important to set limits on them. Some keys to assertive communication can be helpful in these situations. This applies to all relationships, not just couples.
Lack of respect only achieves emotional separation and destroys the affection between two people. Therefore, respect must always be above everything.
2. Kindness and signs of affection
Sometimes with time, trust, and routine; The signs of affection and kindness toward our partner are being neglected. We must not forget them! We all like them to be kind and affectionate with us.
A smile and a “good morning” with a kiss, saying “good night”, asking for things with a “please” and saying thank you are good habits that promote emotional closeness with our partner, and also some sincere compliments from once in a while it feels very good!
It is not about simple rules of courtesy, nor about being "smarmy", but about making life as a couple more pleasant, and showing that we respect love, and consider each other.
3. Be Reliable
A very important factor in a relationship is trust. Many times trust is manifested in small details, such as being punctual for appointments, remembering commitments, and keeping the promises we make.
Be consistent between what we say and do, and show our involvement in the day-to-day details. A relationship is based on mutual trust, the other person must know that he has your support and that he can trust you.
4. Encourage good communication.
It is not necessary to have "deep" conversations every day or always talk about our feelings and conflicts, but we must be careful not to go to the other extreme and that communication within the couple does not focus exclusively on banal and routine topics.
In addition to physical attraction, a factor of intellectual connection is important in a couple, feeling understood by the other, and with the freedom to talk about any topic, especially those that concern us the most.
Knowing how to assertively express what we like and what we don't speak fluently about our feelings and concerns, express our opinions, feel heard by others and know how to listen, and have interesting talks on various topics, all of this fosters closeness and complicity. with our partner.
5. Be a “team”
Many of the decisions we make, directly or indirectly, end up affecting our partner, so the most logical thing would be to make them by mutual agreement, as a team, and taking each other into account. In this way, we also show you that your opinion is valuable to us.
When the habit of making decisions as a couple is created, the union between both is strengthened.
It is also important to foster trust and be a “team”: establish common goals, share experiences, and solve problems together.
Surely there will sometimes be differences of opinion, but despite this, it is important to reach agreements respecting each person's opinion and to feel the other at our side (instead of feeling opposed.)
It is important to feel that our partner is "on our side", the feeling of "being on the same team" even in the face of disagreements or adversities. (As opposed to feeling opposed, fighting "against" the other, and seeing our partner as a rival.)
6. Be considerate when living together
In daily life, we may have some customs or habits that bother others and vice versa. Although they may seem unimportant details, they can gradually create friction over time.
For example; If your partner reproaches you for leaving things out of place, unwashed dishes, smoking in the bedroom, or leaving the toilet lid up... and these behaviors continue for a long time, they are things that in the long run can undermine the relationship. as a couple If your partner has ever asked you to change any of your behaviors or living habits, continuing to maintain them shows inflexibility and selfishness: it is like telling him that his opinion does not matter to you and that you are not willing to change to improve your life. coexistence.
It is also a sign of affection to have small positive details towards the other person in our daily lives: preparing their favorite dish, leaving a loving note, or giving encouragement if we know that a hard day awaits them, asking how their day went. , a back massage... Etc.
We are talking about small habits, not personality traits or things like that. We cannot try to completely "change" the other person, or "be other" to please our partner: what we detail here are small habits of coexistence that we can modify for the other without much effort.
It will always be necessary to accept some things that we do not like, but making the effort to change small customs and promote good habits to improve coexistence brings us closer to our partner and makes everyday life more pleasant.
As I mentioned at the beginning, these factors are quite obvious, but it is good to remember them from time to time to evaluate what things we can improve to get closer to our partner and enjoy a fulfilling relationship.
